Closer
by Samsara Dallire
Summary: There's a fine line between fighting and...as Nick and Mandy find out.


**CLOSER**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, only the computer for which this was written_**

**_Season: 9_**

**_Pairing Nick/Mandy_**

**_Rating: M for adult situations._**

**_Beta: Smokey_**

**_Synopsis: We're Nick comes from f****** is always better than fighting, but sometimes you can incorporate both._**

**_Reviews are appreciated, negative ones are not!_**

_**A/N-I've been getting some nasty reviews and stupidly let myself delete this story. But I'm going to submit it again because I don't believe in allowing myself to be bullied off the net by some rapid, crazed fan who continues to change her ID over and over again simply to be nasty to me. It's hillarious because she specifically registered that day to go after me. What a waste of time.  
**_

_My whole existence is flawed**  
**You get me closer to God_

_Closer -Nine Inch Nails_

"Hey!"

Nick whipped his head around just as he was about to unlock the door of his Tahoe. He came face to face with Miss Mandy Webster, Finger Print Technician. She stood there, arms folded, crinkling her blue lab coat, her hip slightly swaying under a blue, cotton wrap around skirt, and her purse slung around her shoulder.

"Mandy!" Nick pressed his lips together and quickly surveyed their surroundings. Good. Ecklie was nowhere to be seen. He asked in a low voice, "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you?" she raised an eyebrow. "Since you didn't bother to invite me to your little TV hour with Ray and..." Her mouth pursed. "Riley."

With a groan, Nick went back to unlocking the door. "We just watched the DVD of _Astro Quest_ and then we were done."

"You didn't invite me," sniffed Mandy.

"You were busy with Catherine."

"Still, you could have invited me," Mandy said. "But I guess you were having too much fun with...Riley." She turned around and began to storm off. "Then again, I'm only a knucklehead of a lab rat, a CSI wanna be...right?"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Nick snapped and began to follow her. As he got close he latched onto her elbow and spun her around. "What is your problem?!"

Mandy's eyes blazed behind her glasses. "You forgot!

"Forgot what?!" Nick's eyes widened. "What did I forget?!"

"While you were watching _Astro Quest_ with Riley...you...forgot it was...my...birthday." Her eyes filled with tears.

Nick felt his jaw scrape the ground as he struggled to find words. "Mandy I...I...I'm sorry." He felt his heart drop into a bucket of guilt. _How could I have been so damn stupid?! _

"You could have said something to me," Mandy growled. "But oh no, you went off with Riley and Langston...you chose to spend your time off with them. Not me. Not even an acknowledgement!"

"Mandy...I'm sorry." Nick felt his nose burn as tears were starting to form in his eyes. "Please...let me make it up to you. I've got tomorrow off. We can go out of town and celebrate...."

"Why not celebrate here in Vegas?" Mandy frowned, her arms folded.

Nick blew out an exasperated breath and stared around the underground garage. "Look, I've explained it to you...the policy of the lab...if anyone knows we're..." He licked his lips to find the right words, "we're...an item...then...we have to transfer shifts."

"I've done it before." Mandy wiped her tears.

A confused look came over the Texan's face. "What do you mean you've done it before?"

Mandy bit her lower lip and wiped a hair behind her ears. "Um...when...I was...seeing someone else in the lab." Her hands wrung together.

"No way!" Nick snorted. "Who?"

"Nobody important." Mandy shrugged. "I'm just saying it's not big deal. Let's go to Ecklie and spill the beans and I'll tell him I'll transfer to days."

But Nick's mind was still replaying the words. Who did she date? For about three years, Mandy was on days while Jacquie did grave. Then Jacquie got remarried and took a job out East and Mandy agreed to take over grave. However, there was some reluctance on her part to do so, as Nick recalled her telling him, but she wouldn't cite the reason.

"Who did you date?"

He folded his arms and stared at her intensely, watching her shrink as she looked around, shuffled a foot, and then finally looked him in the eye asking, "Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Spill it Webster," Nick ordered.

Mandy bit her lip again and then her shoulders slumped as she looked down muttering, "Warrick Brown."

Nick blinked and asked, "Say again?"

The brunette woman looked up at him, guilt stricken. "Warrick Brown."

An uneasy tension filled the space between them. Nick felt the air leave his lungs as his brain processed the memory. Yes, now he remembered! Warrick had told him there were some changes happening in the Print Lab and Mandy had to move to days due to a conflict of interest and did not want to return to grave for fear of running into someone, therefore he needed to assure her all was well. Nick was confused at the time, for as good friends as they were, Warrick didn't share everything with him. Hell, he didn't even know he was married until the deed was done.

Now it all came back to him. Nick had walked in on a conversation between them and thought it seemed bizarre to hear Warrick saying to her, "It's all cool, Mandy, don't worry about it."

Nick nodded to himself. Yeah, it was all clear, and with the pieces of the puzzle falling into place, the pain came with it. In all the months Mandy and he had been dating, she said nothing to him about dating Warrick. Certainly, he wasn't going to hear it from Warrick because their courtship had started after the death of his friend.

His jaw was clenched as he stared down hard at her, and before hurtful words could escape his lips he turned around and stormed toward his car. "Good night, Mandy."

"No, Nick, wait!" Mandy called to him. "Let me explain."

"Nothing to explain to me about. Just leave me alone." He unlocked the door and jumped in, but his girlfriend was a determined soul and jumped in on the other side.

"Get out of the car, Mandy!" Nick snarled at her.

"Make me!" She grabbed the seatbelt and hooked it.

"Get out before I come over there and drag you out!" Nick's nostrils were flaring.

"Go for it, and then I will scream so hard security will come running and cause a major scene!" Mandy glared back.

"If you do, we're done."

"If you drag me kicking and screaming out of the car, then we are history."

They stared at each other, unwavering in their positions.

Nick finally broke the stance and put the key in the ignition. He started the engine, pulled out, and drove out into the night.

xxXXxx

"Where are we going?" Mandy asked as they headed out onto I15.

"Nowhere," Nick answered blankly. His mind was full of nine years of images, emotions, and anger. He was so tired of compartmentalizing everything, so tired of putting on the brave face. He wished he could have some sort of cathartic breakdown and be done with it. But his upbringing was deeply entrenched within him and did not allow for such action. So the anger stewed within him, building up layers and layers of simmer lava. His heart raced with the force it took to keep it down.

He had outlets...sports, one night stands, a 'miss' towards the Under Sheriff. Hell, knocking back a six pack did wonders for his soul and whoever chose to drink with him.

Then after Warrick died, Mandy asked him out to a movie, and to his pleasant surprise he had fun with her. One date turned to another and before long he had aimlessly slipped into a relationship with her. It wasn't planned, and he didn't protest it, only telling her it had to stay a secret.

Running a tongue along dried lips, she asked tentatively, "Do you mind if I put on some music?"

"No."

She leaned over and pressed the play button, wondering what Nick had in his collection.

"_Closer_?" Mandy bemused. "I didn't know you liked Nine Inch Nails."

"I like all kinds of music." Nick's eyes were frozen to the road. "Guess you don't know me as well as you thought you did."

Mandy leaned back and sighed heavily.

"In fact," Nick's voice was laced with a seething anger, "I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought I did."

"It's not a big deal Nick," Mandy defended.

"You could have been upfront with me from the start."

"But we started dating after he passed away, Nick." Mandy's voice was growing thick. "I didn't think you needed to know."

"Now why would you think that, Mandy?" Nick answered sarcastically. "Cause you figured what Nick didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right?" He kept his eyes focussed on the road as the desert highway stretched before them. Beady eyes from coyotes shone in the light.

"No."

"In fact, it's the usual around the lab. Don't tell Nick Stokes anything. He's a moron, a stupid cowboy who knows nothing. Doesn't matter I have a Doctorate!" A swirl of tornado-like rage formed in him. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white.

_Closer _by Nine Inch Nails hummed its industrial beat through the car, but did nothing to cover the ragged breathing of an enraged Mandy who stared out the other side of the window. Then her head snapped toward him and she growled, "Stop the car!"

"Fine!" Nick shifted gears and floored his Tahoe deep into the desert, sand swirling around them, and lurched to a stop and unlocked the doors. "Bye!"

Enraged, she jumped out of the car, slammed the door, and started to walk.

Nick watched and shook his head, jumped out, and started to follow her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You let me out." Mandy marched through the sand, her skirt twirling around her in the wind.

Nick followed her. "You were playing games. Like usual."

She whipped around. "Fuck you!" She started charging toward the truck muttering something about being glad the keys were still in the ignition.

_Oh no she didn't! She wasn't leaving him stranded in the desert._ He charged after her until she had reached the side of his truck and grabbed her arm, whirling her around.

"No, fuck you!" Nick snapped back. "In fact, if I had known you had dated my best friend, I never would have..." He loomed over her until she was flush against the truck.

Mandy snapped and before she knew it she had an arm raised to swing at him. Nick grabbed and held it up. "Nice try, Webster." He then placed the other hand beside her, holding her in place. "So why didn't you tell me about, Warrick?"

She didn't answer him, and cringed.

"It figures," Nick continued. "Leave ole Nicky out of the loop. Just like Sara and Grissom."

"Nick."

"Just like Catherine did with the reverse forensics." The rage was in full throttle. It boiled over, churned in his guts.

"Nick. Stop!" Mandy tried to free herself only to realize her arms were pinned to the side.

"What the fuck is it about me that people feel they can't tell me anything?" He released her arms, but still held her in place, each hand on either side of her.

The brunette held up her head at him. "Because you are Nick Stokes, Mr. Straight Arrow, Mr. Goody Two Shoes, Mr. Moral High Horse." Her voice was saucy and taunting.

Nick's eyes grew dark. "Oh really?"

"Yeah really." Mandy placed her hands on his chest, shoving him.

"Oh that's real mature, Mandy." Nick laughed sardonically.

She didn't answer. He wagered closer. "Is that why you've been flirting with me all these years, to get back at him?"

"No." She shook her head. His face was inches away, his breath hot on her. She felt consumed by him, his body pressed so hard into hers, feeling the heat of him simmer into her.

"I don't believe you." Nick smiled almost sinisterly, the kind of look he gave to suspects when he was on to them.

But Mandy wasn't a suspect, she was his lover. "It's true." Her voice was a mere snivel. "It was only a few weeks..."

"Enough to fuck him."

Mandy's swallowed and her jaw became clenched. Her eyes lit up with rage equalling his, and she said in a lethal-laced voice, "What about you, Mr. I Dated a Hooker?! A hooker, Nick!" Mandy pushed her body against him, ready to knee him, but he pressed her tighter into the vehicle. "Should I get tested for diseases or something? You're judging me, but look at you! You've slept with every piece of ass in Vegas from what I hear in the lab from Greg, Archie, Hodges, Riley, and Catherine! You're nothing but a fucking man whore, Nick Stokes! No better than the whore you fucked...Kristi!"

Nick felt his heart drop at the mention of Kristi, an untouchable subject. A taboo. Nobody ever mentioned Kristi to him. Never. Mandy was not an exception to the rule.

Mandy's voice become sharp as she asked, "Did you leave you a tip on her table?"

His mouth formed a tight line.

"Did you get paid under the table for being Vegas' man whore!"

Nick's head cocked to the side as the blood raged in him...bubbled and brewed...double, double, toil and trouble!

"Or maybe you're just all talk and no action." She grinned.

Now if Mandy had kicked him in the balls, the pain would have been nothing compared to that comment. His hands rolled into fists and he struggled with the devil on his shoulder whispering evil thoughts. But Nick would never listen to it. His parents had been on both sides of the courtroom in domestic abuse cases and had lectured him sternly on the subject manner. Nick had been taught well. Never ever lay a fist on a woman. Ever!

Once he regained his composure, he said in a measured voice, "Get in the car." He started to back off. "I'll take you home."

"Wait!" Mandy reached out and snatched his elbow, her voice plaintive.

"No, Mandy, let's just go home before I say something I'll regret." He yanked his arm away.

"No wait." She reached out and pulled him back toward her. As he turned around to tell her to cut it out, she planted a full wet one on his surprised lips, her arms grasped around his neck.

At first he wanted to pull her off, but his body told him to take a hike as it responded to the kiss. It had been three weeks, 12 hours, and 10 minutes since they had last been intimate. Double shifts, training newbies, and dealing with supervisors being bitten by rabid humans, all were obstacles in the way and except for a few quickie blow jobs in the Denali he was in deep need of release from stress and strain, and by Mandy's aggressiveness he wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Slowly, he guided her back toward the truck until she was pinned to it as anger channelled into heated passion. Once she was secured, he began to undo the buttons on her shirt, one by one, until it yawned open. Mandy grinded herself into him, shamelessly, her hands roaming under his shirt.

"Want you..." he mumbled. "Right here." He grasped her head and ravished her with another kiss.

Mandy reached down and began to work on his jeans, disrupting the kiss to acquiesce with a tiny little yes.

Meanwhile, Nick and started to undo her skirt, feeling the material unravel in his hands and slip away. His hands slid into her thong and stroked the moistening lips. He was so caught up he hadn't realized that instead of undoing his pants and reaching in to return the favour, Miss Mandy had done something rather different.

"Nick?" she whispered and interrupted to show him what she had worked on.

His fogged mind caught on to the fact that she was holding his belt.

"Wha...?"

She looked up at the roof rack and said, "Tie me up."

Nick stared at her. His cock responded in the positive, but his brain screamed, "No way."

"I ..." He shook his head. "I can't do that."

"Can't or won't?" She raised an eyebrow in defiance.

"Won't."

"Why not?"

"It's not right."

"But I want this." Mandy held the belt toward him. "Please..."

"You want this!" Nick was incredulous.

"Yes." She stared him, her eyes black. "I dare you to."

"This isn't a game, Mandy!" Nick protested.

"I'm not saying it is, but I want this, Nick." Mandy's eyes were black with hunger as she undid the button of his fly and eased a hand in. Her fingers closed around his burgeoning cock, and he emitted a feral groan as his heart pounded in his chest.

"Please..." she whispered her voice hinging on desperation trickling the tiny hairs on the back of his neck, "I want this so badly."

Nick faltered. Now most men would be gung ho for this, but they didn't work in his field and see crimes, particularly sexual assaults, with victims found dead in this way, their eyes frozen with fear, throats bloodied from slits made, mouths gagged. No, this was wrong. For him it was wrong.

Bad enough his sleep was often haunted by victims' faces. He stood back and put his hands on his hips, staring at the ground. Then he looked up again and scanned her body illuminated by far off lights from the highway. They were well enough in that patrolmen would not be able to see them.

There was a full moon tonight in the crystal clear sky over the desert causing Nick to wonder if his current mental health was aggravated. The myths of its madness proved true, and he could almost hear Langston citing some mythology book he'd never heard of.

"Mandy, I don't know..."Nick reached out and caressed the side of her face. His eyes bored into hers, gauging the raw passion, the longing. His hand continued south down and cupped a breast, his thumb grazing over an erect, exotically brown, nipple peering through the scanty bra. Her body glowed in the soft light of the Tahoe, and goose bumps formed on her skin.

Then a thought occurred. "Would Warrick have done it?" The question emerged sounding almost juvenile.

Images of Grissom taking him on a rollercoaster ride raced in his mind. To do this day he could still hear Warrick bragging about it while Sara and he sat there stewing. Sara had her reasons, but Nick felt this was the ultimate insult. Warrick allows someone to be killed and he gets a roller coaster ride. Here he thought favouritism went out with the school days. Oh hell no. Warrick got away with a lot.

Mandy smiled. "If I say yes, would you do it?"

Nick stared back at her. "I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't want to know?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

He never thought of Mandy as a dominant or a submissive. She was just...well, Mandy...someone he found intriguing, loving. and well, a compliment to his life. She was a witty gal, a spitfire, someone whose wacky goofy ways endeared him. Her zany interpretations of Mr. Ed being a sci-fi show, her love for movies of all sorts, _Grand Theft Auto_, and with a love for strappy, bold coloured sun dresses and high heels ala Lilly Allen as she told him.

And as far he was concerned, there was a difference between fighting and fucking, although the line seemed to be blurred tonight. Maybe fighting could lead to fucking as long it was consensual. She was asking him to tie her up.

As the two halves of his conscious began a duel to the death, she leaned up and whispered huskily in his ear, "Lemme tell you something about when I dated him. Nothing came between him and the casinos."

"Sounds like Warrick," Nick mumbled and then stared at the belt. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She took his hand folded the leather material into it gently. "I want this. I want you to tie me up so I can be all yours."

Nick studied the belt and answered, "I don't need a belt, darling." The corners of his mouth curling into an amused smile at the 'all yours' as he continued, "As I've recalled, you've never objected when the opportunity arises." He watched her flush with shyness while she probed and trailed her fingers along his groin.

"If you love me, you'll do it." Damn she was persistent!

"But I do love you, and there are a lot of ways I can show you without tying you up."

"Yes, but it is my birthday." Mandy squeezed his length harder and with one finger stroked a particularly sensitive spot emitting a gasp out of him.

"Girl, you know...you know what I see on the job..." He stayed focussed as hard it was as through knowledge and experience, his lab rat knew which buttons to press to knock him senseless.

"Yes, but this is the not the same. I'm saying yes. They said no." She said understanding his hesitation and continued, "I can always say stop if it gets too much. I promise."

Nick groaned and finally agreed, "Okay." She smiled lewedly and lifted her arms up while he looped the end of the belt over the rack and through the buckle and pulled tightly. Anticipations rose at the sight of her body, growing taught and ready for him to do what he wanted, how he wanted. He flexed his jaw and stepped forward. Her luscious curves were begging for his hands to be on them. He took a deep breath and caressed her bare arms, feeling a shudder run through her as goose bumps rose on her skin. Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly open. As his hands reached her bra, he opened the clasp hands roamed over her breasts, his thumb grazing a nipple, before he gathered them together as he dipped his head down and flicked his tongue across them. Then he released them to take another look at his surroundings, visions of public lewdness charges dancing in his head.

Mandy gnawed on her bottom lip as he blew out a breath, feeling nervous and wondering if a highway patrol would be rolling by and catch sight of this. They'd never live this down at the lab.

"Please..." Her whimper spurred him back into action. "Blind fold me."

"Wha...?" Nick gagged. She had already asked more than he could muster! "I...dont...have anything...to ..."

Mandy groaned, "Good lord...must the woman think of everything? Use the sash from my skirt."

Nick knelt down on his haunches, and in doing so was awestruck by the sight of Mandy's half nude, curvy body still adorned in a pink thong. Not for long as just before he picked up the sash he slid his thumbs into to the sides and tugged it down, hearing her gasp as she willingly lifted her black, slippered feet as he pulled the fabric off.

His mind racing with all sorts of vulgar ideas, he yanked the powder blue sash belt out of her skirt and stood up. With a smile he asked her, "Do you trust me?" Her eyes popped open.

She blinked slowly. "Yes. One hundred per cent."

Nick gently covered her eyes and her head lowered obediently as he tied the sash behind her head. Once the task was complete, he leaned over and whispered into her ear, "You realize you're giving me 100 per cent access to you and I can do what I want, how I want, right?"

She didn't answer him. Her mouth was parted. Her head lowering, submissively. Nick reached around and wound his fingers through her the silky, black threads of hair and yanked her back, not too hard, but hard enough to startle her as she answered, "Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes sir."

Still grasping her hair with one hand, Nick reached down with the other and stroked the outer lips of her pussy, through the damp curls. "Good girl. Very good," he said, watching her mouth open and gasp at the sensation. Letting go of her head, he devoured her mouth, his tongue meeting with hers. His fingers continued their assault on her growing wetter sex as it started thrusting gently into his hands, wantonly.

Unleashed, he took advantage of the situation. She was fully submissive, a toy for him to play with. He was hungry cat looking to play. But she was a precious toy, not one to be too rough with. All moral teachings and logic were shipped into the dormant part of Nick's brain as he unlatched from her mouth and moved his lips down to her neck, then with more urgency. He sucked on a tender spot, hard for unmeasured moment. Then his mouth ran along her collarbone, down to her breasts where he bit and nibbled every inch he could find, leaving nothing untouched. Meanwhile, His hands worked her pussy. With his thumb he pressed her clit like a button on an elevator while his index finger hovered near her rear entry. She was so wet he could slide in with no problem, but that would be too easy. He ceased and dropped to his knees in front of her. He gently shifted her legs over his shoulders and kissed the insides of her thighs, the smell of her sex teasing him, but he took his time, wanting to enjoy this. Worries about being caught seemed to drift away as hunger drove him. Finally he reached her centre.

Now he paid tribute to her pussy. A shudder ran through her as he laid the first lick on the outer lips. He grinned at the sensation it caused, her gasps turning into moans. This was rather fun. Mandy had recently complained about not having anything to grab onto during fellatio after he shaved his head, but Nick hated it when she grabbed his hair anyways, it was distracting and painful. Now he had no worries as she was bound at his mercy. He went to work licking every fold, ever cleft, and in particular her nub. Her legs shifted around and rested on his back as she moaned his name. He drank greedily from her hive, the sweetness urging him to suck harder. Her voice was a crescendo, growing higher, and just as she reached the top he jumped up and kissed her gaping mouth, feeling her body shudder with her first orgasm through his sweat-soaked t-shirt as he pulled her close. Her skin was clammy. He stop the kiss long enough to murmer sweet words in her ears. Secret words only they knew.

Nick's mind fogged as he felt her ride it out. He held out a little longer while stroking her clenched pussy, allowing his libido to take control hence any moral highjack the situation. His adrenalin pumping, he probed and prodded her with both hands, sliding in and out of crevices, valleys, and hills. Her moans turned into words, "Fuck me."

Nick snickered at her as he scolded, "Such foul language from my little Mandy girl."

She lifted her head and repeated the request. He reached up and untied the sash, her glasses long gone for the night as she traded them for contacts. Her eyes were lust-filled not to mention another emotion he dare not allow himself to realize. Too many people who he shared this emotion with had disappeared from his life.

Sweat dribbled down Mandy's face as she squirmed around, the muscles in her arms stretching, her chest heaving with longing. Moving closer to her, he slid his fingers inside her once more and stroked her swollen clit. She was tightening up again, ready for another plateau. His hard, almost purple cock twitched in excitement. He couldn't wait to feel her wet skin on it.

"Nick," she pleaded wantonly, "I want you so fucking bad!" She squeezed her eyes shut and wiggled.

"What's the magic word?" He lowered his pants. Breathing heavily, Nick lifted her legs up and they unwittingly wrapped around his waist. Taking his cock in one hand he began to stroke her parting lips with it.

"Are you sure you want this, Mandy?" Nick growled into her ear as he moved himself between her legs.

"Yes," she hissed.

His tongue teased an ear canal and he asked again, "Are you sure?" He planted sweaty palms on her voluptuous ass and held steady as he awaited her answer.

"Please!" she begged. "I want you inside me. Now!"

With a mighty thrust he penetrated her. A cry of relief escaped her perfect mouth and as he dove deeper and deeper into her depths. Her legs trembled against his bare waist, indicating it wouldn't be long before she peaked, so he ramped up the speed. He watched as her face burned red with desire, her mouth hanging slack.

His eyes squeezed shut as his body dripped with sweat. Nick could almost hear Greg cracking jokes about booty smudges on his vehicle and made a mental note to wash his truck. He groaned as his lower back ached with the power of their coupling as he shifted slightly and continued. Her complete submission to him had morphed him into a dog in heat. He needed to feel her from the inside out. Her stuttering breaths filling his ears.

Damn aging process, thought Nick as he straightened up as the ache in his lower back distracted him. He met Mandy's flushed and hungring gaze and words escaped her lips, "No one like you..."

His brow furrowed and she repeated the words, "No one like you." Nick studied her face, red with lust, but eyes filled with deep-seated love. Love? No. Don't go there, Mandy, his mind screamed while his heart said otherwise.

Feeling a surge of emotion words could not describe, these simple little vowels and syllables were water over a forest fire. Panting, he told her gruffly, "Wanna feel your arms around me when you say that." His eyes met hers and filled with so much emotion. He unleashed her hands and in a flurry they were around his neck, hanging on desperately.

She nodded and repeated, "There's no one like you, Nick, not a man like you, not a soul like yours...not a heart like yours." She dotted his forehead with gentle kisses. Tears filled his eyes she held onto and bore a firm gaze into him saying, "No one in the world is like you, there' s not a soul like you, not a heart like yours, not a mind like yours..." Mandy leaned over and kissed his lower lip. "And no one ever has made me feel the way you have."

Her words were like aloe on fresh burns, healing his flawed existence, his ravaged soul. Her mouth captured his once again, their tongues pressed together as Nick found his second wind and began pumping into her, but the sweat which formed on their heated bodies was causing slippage. Mandy tightened her grip against him while pressed a palm against the van for leverage. As he bore down on her into the van he whispered, "Hang on." Once again he penetrated her, stabbing into her as profoundly as his physics would allow it, only this time pure emotional passion drove him, the world all but disappeared, except for her.

As much as Nick liked everyone around him to see him for the strong, confident and knowledable person he was, there was another side to him One which had for years had layers and layers of pain grown onto it, like rings on a tree. Vegas had put him through pain and torture both emotionally and physically. Not only was it the traumatic events such as losing his best friend, being attacked by criminals , but also the undermining from his colleagues did to him. He used the pain to work harder and the pay off was tremendous. But he was only human and he bore painful, emotional scars in terms of distrust, loss of faith in humanity and people in general. While Nick knew he was respected, he also knew he was disrespected and treated like a bland, bone head jock at times.

As his relationship with Mandy grew, so did his trust in her and he allowed her to know this side of him.

Which is why her secret had seared him so deeply, but also why these words were so important to him. He needed to reassure himself he was unique, he wasn't just some jumb jock with a perchance for science.

Mandy's lustful cries of delight sounded heavenly and jarred him from his thought. He told her to repeat her mantra. She obeyed. Nick asked again and soon it became a spiritual chant accompanying every thrust, taking him higher and higher until he realized he could no longer hold back. He stopped again, inhaling deep breaths until he heard her whisper, "It's okay, let go."

He opened his eyes and met her exhausted gaze once again. Her hooded eyes were inches away from his; just enough for her to kiss his lips softly and encourage him to 'let it go'. Nodding thankfully, he collapsed into her and filled her with his release and groaned straight from the pit of his stomach in utter relief. He was still adrift in the heavens above as Mandy's leg's tightened around him as her own climax hit. They grew rigged as she moaned softly. They held him in a vice grip along with another part of her anatomy. Finally her legs relaxed and unwrapped themselves, and he eased her gently to the ground feeling her head rest on the crook of his shoulder.

For a long moment they remained where they were, almost fearing the other's post-coital reaction. His heart beating nervously, Nick wondered if Mandy was going to suddenly turn on him, accuse him of all sorts of crimes, but another part wondered if she was embarrassed for displaying a side to her she'd joked about but never, ever admitted. She was a submissive. And it was not that their sex life was boring. This was the girl who deep-throated him during breaks in the Denali, even when he'd be on the phone with Greg or Catherine telling them quickly he needed to pop in somewhere and snap the phone shut right before he sailed over the edge. Moreover, Mandy was a daring, passionate lover and had even him pushing boundaries. Sure this was, well, kinky, but she was always a daredevil in this regard. She had kissed, caressed, tongued and touched him in places other women would not dare.

"You okay?" he heard her whisper. She was caressing his back lovingly, her hands having slipped under the damp t-shirt.

"I should be asking you that," he answered as he tentatively broke the embrace and took a good look at her. Was she really okay with this? Would she change her mind? Her eyes were glowing brightly, her cheeks flushed brightly. She almost laughed at his worried face.

Hell, why shouldn't he worry? Would she turn around and point the finger at him with the R word? The anxiety of workplace dating was a tiny monster in him who whispered warnings to him.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Mandy reached up and cupped his face, kissing his bottom lip. "I've just had a fantasy of mine realized. I'm more than okay."

A small laugh escaped his lips as he caressed the side of her face. "You're gonna turn me into one of those Lady Heather freaks."

"They're not freaks and neither are we," Mandy smirked. "I think this is better than fighting, right?"

"Hell yeah!" Nick agreed, reaching down to tuck himself back in as she slid off his dwindling member.

As the moon shone down on them, they dressed and joked about not being caught by highway patrolmen. Thankfully, luck was on their side as the only witness to their conjugal deed was a coyote off by the Seven Sisters.

Nick went into the back of the truck and brought out a towel and wiped the smudges away much to Mandy's amusement.

"Cleaning up the evidence?" she asked.

"Nope, a crime scene clean up."

xxXXxx

When they returned to her place, they hit the shower. The water beat down on them, washing away the dirt and grime of their desert coupling. Nick had turned the stereo on to a classic rock station which both had agreed on since they could get every kind of music from Radiohead to U2 to Green Day, although at the moment Neil Young was singing about how _rock and roll would never die_.

"Can I ask you something?" Nick gently scrubbed her back, uncomfortably taking notice of some red marks decorating it, presumably from being pressed into the ridges around the window pane. "Can you just tell me again how long you and Warrick dated?"

Turning around slowly and biting her lower lip, she took the soap filled scrunchie and started to wash his chest. "A few weeks."

Nick snorted, "A few weeks."

"Yep," she quipped as she lowered the scrunchie down with a mischievous grin.

Nick tut-tutted her and gently took it from her hands and started washing the side of her neck, noticing a bruise forming where he had devoured her neck. "Why did you guys break up, again?"

"'Cause." She ran a hand through her hair and tilted her head sideways. "Gambling was more important to him than me."

"Gambling?" Nick was surprised and stopped the gentle scrubbing. "He hasn't gambled in nine years, so you two dated nine years ago?"

"I take it your're relieved." Mandy smiled at his bemused and relieved expression. "And after that I stopped taking his calls and changed my shift. He was a kind of jerk to me for a while, treating me like a moron, but eventually it smoothed over."

Nick gently turned her around again and began to wash her back. "Still wish you'd said something to me when we started dating."

Mandy's shoulders tightened as she asked, "Why was it so important?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have known," Nick surmised. "I feel I'm competing with a memory."

"Well," she insisted, "you win by a long shot, dude."

"Oh please. I'm bland and boring, right?" Nick asked as he'd been told that by a tiny group of Sara Sidle's friends. Nick was shocked she even had friends beyond Grissom.

"No." Mandy shook her head as she turned back around and caressed the sides of his arms. "You're definitely not boring. Your wardrobe...a little bland."

"Yeah well..." Nick hummed and haa'd, "I dress for comfort, not style."

"Well, I like the look you're sporting now!" she grinned lasciouisly. "I'll take nude look any day." She slid her arms around his waist and grabbed his ass. "And besides, as a person, you're far from boring, challenging at times with those mood swings, but we've all got skeletons in our closet, Nicky, even you."

A big grin broke out on his face and he concluded he was a lucky man to have found Mandy. She took him, warts and all. His theory being if a person couldn't deal with him at his worst, they sure as hell didn't deserve him at his best.

Exhaling deeply he answered, "Yes." He went on washing her. "I was more upset you didn't tell me than knowing the truth."

"Why? I mean we don't always have to know each and every skeleton in the closet."

"True," Nick agreed, "but if one of those skeletons includs dating my best friend, that one needs to be tagged."

"Okay," Mandy said with a shrug, "I see your point." Her eyes gleamed. "And remember what I said about how my dates with Warrick ended. I only put up with that a few times meaning..."

"You guys never..." Nick grinned.

"Nope. Nothing came between Warrick and his gambling back then." She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Okay, does that make you feel better?"

"Much." He gathered her in his arms and planted a deep sensuous kiss on her, his hands defending onto her ass while hers dipped down and began to stroke him eagerly she giggled into his kiss. He squeezed the cheeks and pressed her into him.

"Bedroom," she muttered. "Now."

He smirked, "Are you sure you aren't the dominant one here?"

xxXXxx

Gentleness hallmarked their second round of love making. Nick lay comfortably against the pillows stacked up against the headboard while Mandy rode him, her hands holding his biceps while she rocked her hips to and fro. His hands clenched her ass as his hips met her ever dip.

"Say it again," Nick gasped as a wave lifted him.

"No one...like...you," she rasped as she arched back causing him to let go so his hands could slip slide down, thumbing the undersides of her lovely breasts before pressing the soft mounds together and flicking his tongue across the erect nipples.

Nick managed to sneak a finger in between their connected bodies and flicked her nub. He'd already lavished his tongue on it as soon as they hit the bed, but he needed to focus again to bring Mandy to the ultimate orgasm. His efforts proved worthy as Mandy cried out loudly, her neck arched back as her cry trailed. He reached up and pulled her to him, as their eyes met he groaned deeply, "No one like you." His arms snaked around her as his world exploded suspending him in oblivion as he felt Mandy crumple against him with a groan. Their bodies shook against each other as their breathing evened out.

Over her head, Nick saw sunlight trickling through the curtains. He breathed into her damp hair. He watched as a branch from a tree waved gently with the wind as he found his voice again, "Wanna...wanna go for breakfast? My treat."

Yawning, Mandy gingerly sat up and smiled sleepily. "I'm tuckered out, can we go later?" She gently crawled off him and curled up beside him.

Nick reached down and pulled the deep blue duvet up and nodded. "Yeah, sleep sounds good right about now." They slid down and curled into each other. "Then we can go shopping. Didn't someone just have a birthday?"

Mandy smiled. "Yep. You remembered." She rolled onto her belly and grinned. "Let's go to _Aren't We Naughty."_

Nick's eyes widened with alarm. "You mean the…sex...store."

"Well it's not the grocery store." She nodded as her chin rested the heel of her hand.

"Umm..." Nick hemmed and hawed at the thought as his fingers twiddled with the duvet. "Okay, if you want."

"Don't worry, you can keep your eyes closed the whole time and I'll buy us something. I'll just guide your hand to the credit card in your wallet" Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Uh no, I think I'll make sure it's nothing too kinky," Nick gulped. "And keep an eye on my credit card."

"Chicken shit!" She rolled to her side and smiled.

"No, I just...well...maybe with you." Nick ran a tongue over his bottom lip. "You're a bold girl, Mandy, dandy.."

Mandy shook her head in exasperation. "And you're a wonderful toy to play with." She leaned over and kissed his nose. "I promise to stay within your limits."

"You can push them a little." He snuck in a kiss.

Mandy grinned and said, "You bet I will."

Nick returned the grin and wryly added, "Lookin' forward to it." He rolled over and said, "Later...after breakfast."

"Sounds good." She sighed and laid down, folding her arms under head and mumbling, "I'll switch shifts, Nick." Her eyes were sombre as they contradicted the logic in her words.

Alarmed, Nick shook his head. "No, don't. I'll switch."

Mandy smiled at him lovingly, "Oh I can't do that to your team, Nick. Catherine and Greg have been through enough, and besides you would hate the jerks on days."

"I already hate the jerks on days."

"I'll do it," she insisted.

"No," Nick said firmly. "We'll leave things as is."

She studied his face. "Why?"

"Because...because...I...like working with you. You make me laugh no matter how hard the night is, and I would miss you." Nick stumbled along this sentence like a drunk in an alleyway looking for a cigarette butt. Mandy eyed him softly and asked, "What if Ecklie finds out?"

"If he does, he does." Nick shrugged. "Then we'll deal with it. In the meantime, leave it as is."

"It's kind of risky, and you're not big on risks," Mandy said.

"Guess you're gonna have to help me there, aren't you darlin'?" He winked.

"Anyway I can."

Nick reached over and placed a finger on her lips. "Time for sleep."

"Yes sir." Mandy laughed. "I love it when you're dominant."

"Dunno if I'm the dominant one here, but I'll take the compliment." Tucking his arms under his head, he mumbled, "I love you."

She reached over and trailed an index finger along his laugh lines, down and across his lips, and 1000 years later she answered, "And I love you."

Relieved, he closed his eyes as she turned over and spooned into him and thought again who really who was the dominant one here? Doesn't matter. Being with Mandy was better than any rollercoaster rides with Grissom, or promotions or praise because he didn't have to earn her admiration or praise. It was a given, an unconditional love that defied titles and careers.

That's all he really needed.


End file.
